Confession time: I am extremely shy. There, I admitted it. Whenever I tell anyone that, they usually respond with shock and disbelief but it is very much the truth.  As a child, I had friends in school and of course outside of school but I was always more comfortable with those more familiar to me.  When you are young, that is not much of a problem, your experiences are limited to familiar places and routines.  As you get older, this becomes complicated.  Going off to high school after being with the same classmates for just about 9 years was trying.

I was always a bit chunky as a boy. That sounds nicer than saying fat and when you are young, you can get away with calling it chunky.  Not so cute as you go into your teen years and I knew that.  The summer before going off to high school I was determined to drop the weight. I wanted to make the best impression possible and had convinced myself I would be more confident if I felt better about my appearance. WRONG.  Yes, that summer as I watched the pounds drop off, I felt more and more sure of myself. I looked good and I liked it but I was with my family and familiar friends.  The first day of school was a whole different ball game.  Would they like me? What about my curly hair? What about the small amount of acne (really, I barely had any but of course as a teen one pimple is a major wide spread break out). 

Needless to say, my first months and maybe even the first year of high school proved to be very quiet. I arrived at a certain time by bus, went to my classes, and then back to the bus stop for my return trip home.  I was always very observant, watching what the others were doing. Praying the bullies wouldn't turn to pick on me, wishing I was part of the popular crowd. Thankfully, I was never picked on but I also never got to be part of the popular crowd either.

Something dawned on me in my sophomore year as I started to feel more comfortable and began making friends. I didn't need to be PART of the popular crowd, I just needed to BE. Soon my friends and I became our own popular crowd.  Since high school doesn't last forever, I had to do it all over again in college and at work. Each time getting a little more confidence but still keeping to myself when need be.

Then came 2009 and Twitter.  That day in April changed me in ways I couldn't have predicted. Who knew that this would be the thing to take me out of my shell and keep me there? I have been able to be the most authentic me, socialize with people, and even meet them on occasion.  I am not afraid to express my opinion or be the first to engage someone in conversation. Somehow it has carried into my everyday life as well, I feel more sure of myself at work, I feel I can be more of myself all the time.

I am not suggesting that people need to use social media to solve shyness, what I am saying is it helps to find a hobby. Something that will put you in touch with people that share like interests while allowing you to be yourself. The more comfortable and passionate you feel about the activity of choice, the easier it will be to build confidence. You may even begin to shake off that shell without even realizing it.

I think the same would be true for parents of shy children. Encourage their hobbies and gently urge them to join groups with like interests. The more comfortable they are discussing their interests, the easier it will be to allow others who share their passion into the circle.

I think I will always have that shy part of me inside but hopefully I will be able to overcome it on most occasions.  Too many experiences can be missed by being too scared to show the world who you really are. I prefer to take on as much as I can and enjoy myself as often as possible.